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Something Mature Sex LINK

Professionals must keep in mind that adolescents are trying to understand the rapid sexual development of their feelings and bodies. Adolescents may have advanced sexual knowledge and experience but may be well behind in abstract thinking and understanding the impact of their behaviors on others. As adolescents mature, they are able to understand and interpret their own sexual feelings and the emotions and behaviors of others.

something mature sex

A trained psychotherapist can offer you insights and coping skills that allow you to recognize examples of your defense mechanisms, hone them into mature coping skills, and feel more resilient in times of distress throughout your life.

What happens when we get older is we begin to understand that there are multiple consequences to any single action and many of them affect us either indirectly or at some point in the future. General rules and trade-offs are understood as the way these consequences function. Mom and Dad get angry if I steal something; therefore, I will not steal, even if it feels good. My teacher will punish me if I talk in class; therefore, I will not talk, even if I want to.

An adolescent will say he loves you. But his conception of love is that he gets something in return (probably sex), that love is merely an emotional swap meet, where you each bring everything you have to offer and haggle with each other for the best deal.

Maturity has obvious benefits, like making you a more functional person. Socially, mature people are generally better liked, though it's not a simple matter of trying to become as mature as possible. Maturity is like being nice, in that if you're below average in it you can be off-putting, but once you're at a normal level, going above that doesn't earn you a ton of bonus points. People do appreciate maturity and niceness, but it's not the main factor they consider when deciding whether they enjoy someone's company.

Some immature behaviors are worse than others. Some are unquestionably obnoxious. Others peg you as being emotionally young, but aren't that harmful. They just make more mature people chuckle to themselves and think, "Ah, I remember being like that back in the day."

Maturity is relative. If you're younger, you don't need to be some wise village elder. Just aim not to be annoyingly childish compared to everyone else around your age. Because they're young as well, your peers won't have outgrown many of their own immature traits, and don't expect anyone to act twenty years older than they are. You can end up feeling alienated if you look down on any hint of immaturity and try to set yourself above it all.

Also, maturity only helps you if you're truly mature, not behaving like a caricature of it. Maturity doesn't mean becoming some self-serious stick in the mud who never goofs around or blows off steam. It doesn't mean dressing like a stodgy accountant and staying in every weekend to watch World War II documentaries. It also doesn't mean acting really dark, cynical, and angsty. Also, someone isn't necessarily that mature just because they've checked off milestones like buying a house or having kids.

Children don't have much control over their emotions. Their feelings come on fast and strong. They can have meltdowns over minor frustrations, like being told they can't have any grapes because dinner is soon. As people mature they gradually get better at containing their emotional ups and downs. This isn't to say they become stoic hyper-logical robots. It's just that if they're really sad or angry, more often than not they can pause and decide what to do with the feeling, rather than acting rashly. Less-mature people still let their emotions get the best of them.

Think of a stereotypical moody teenager who's had a minor disagreement with their friends. It's the worst tragedy ever. They're soooo upset. Their social life is over. The next day their crush smiles at them, and they're over the moon about the latest development in this grand romance. As people get older they stop seeing every little thing that happens to them as an intense twist in a never-ending soap opera. More immature adults haven't gotten past this tendency.

When kids don't get what they want they can sulk, pout, whine, throw a hissy fit, stomp around and slam doors, or retreat to their room and refuse to come out. Immature adults keep doing these things past the point where they should have grown out of them.

A facet of having lower emotional regulation is behaving impulsively. Think of a twelve-year-old whose buddy says, "I dare you to jump from that balcony into the swimming pool", and he just does it without thinking. As we get older we get better at considering the consequences of our actions. Adults are seen as more immature if they still make dumb decisions on the spur of the moment.

Kids are generally short-term thinkers. If you give them a few dollars many are going to spend it a.s.a.p. on knick knacks or junk food, rather than tuck it away for a larger purchase. Adults are better at seeing the bigger picture and delaying a pay off. Immature adults do things like spend their entire savings on an expensive car stereo system, even though they have rent due in a week. They either don't consider their finances at all, or do, but are too impatient to wait until they have more cash saved up.

Children aren't great at planning on their own. They need adults to force them to do things like set aside enough time to do their homework, because they'd watch TV or play video games all evening if left to their own devices. Adults can come across as immature when they still haven't gotten the hang of managing their time and priorities (e.g., not leaving themselves enough time to buy groceries before the store closed, because they were hanging out with their friends).

Not all kids are little daredevils, but overall children take more physical risks than adults. They'll see a tree and just start climbing it, or spend hours trying to jump their skateboard down a bunch of stairs. As we age we get more careful. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with an adult who's an adrenaline junkie. It's just that some people will see their behavior as less-mature, especially if they take risks for seemingly dopey, spontaneous reasons.

As a kid you are reasonably entitled to things like food, shelter, and an education, as you can't get them yourself. As most people reach adulthood they realize they're expected to be independent going forward, and that they'll have to earn things like a fulfilling career or relationship. Immature people keep believing they inherently deserve to have the things they want just given to them.

Kids see the world as revolving around them. There's nothing evil or mean-spirited about it. It's just how their brains are wired. Plus they're relatively helpless and their parents have to provide a lot of support, so it's natural they'd have a mindset where they think the universe caters to them. As we mature we start to consider other people's needs and perspectives, and stop thinking everything is about us.

A facet of being egocentric is viewing other people as objects to help you meet your own needs. Immature people can be thoughtless users or takers. For example, they'll use friends for favors or car rides. It's not out of malice, but because they take for granted that whatever they want will be everyone else's top priority too.

When you're a child your parents pay for most things. It's understandable that kids can't fully grasp the value of money, or the time and work it takes to earn it. They may assume someone will always buy them the things they need, or get mad because their parents can't get them some expensive new shoes at the drop of a hat. You'll come across as immature if you're grown, but still expect other people to pay your way, or you don't seem to appreciate it when they buy something for you.

When you're a kid you have some toys and clothes to call your own, but the bigger items are all owned by adults. The idea of, say, treating the washing machine well so it lasts longer isn't on your radar. For this reason kids and teenagers can give less consideration to other people's stuff. Like a fourteen-year-old may borrow a friend's video game, but leave the disc out when they're not using it and let it get scratched. You'll be seen as immature if you're still casually thoughtless with other people's things when you're older.

  • It's no secret that kids can be horrible to each other. Just being a jerk when you're older can cause everyone to see you as someone whose mind is still stuck in middle school. You'll seem particularly immature if you act douchey in a style associated with kids. A few examples: Teasing people over pointless things they can't control, like their unusual last name

  • Mocking someone for having a positive trait, like being smart

  • Annoying people for your own amusement (e.g., playing Dungeons & Dragons with your friends after school, and being an irritating character who tries to derail the campaign at every turn)

  • Being obnoxious or inconsiderate to people for no reason other than to "get a reaction"

  • Being unsympathetic and mean when someone is suffering (e.g., "You're feeling car sick? Oh my god, you're such a wimp! Ha ha, I bet you puke!!!")

  • Spreading malicious gossip

  • Trying to get friends kicked out of the group for petty reasons

  • Playing mean pranks

  • Bragging in a way that throws someone under the bus, e.g., a guy boasting about a woman he slept with, and sharing too many private details about her

Less sense of personal responsibilityWhat do kids often do when they mess up? They try to get out of it. They won't say what they did, and hope no one notices. If they're confronted they may deny they had a part in it, or try to blame someone else. Even if they're given ironclad evidence they screwed up, they may refuse to admit what they did was wrong. When a mature adult makes a mistake they step up and try to make things right. Immature adults still behave like kids who will do anything to avoid "getting in trouble". 041b061a72


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